A Challenging Dream

Let’s begin in the middle somewhere because it takes too long to start from the beginning-

So I began writing my third book. It did not go well. And I suddenly had this brilliant idea of writing a children’s book about children on the Spectrum.

So I sat down and wrote the manuscript. Now what? I have an illustrator that I already have lined but what I really want is for the book to be published traditionally through a true Publishing House once the illustrations are done which from the sounds of it is almost completely impossible without an agent. And of course I don’t have an agent. I don’t even know how to find an agent.

How did a dream that seemed so exciting at one moment almost feel devastatingly dashed just as quickly? Last week I felt so determined, so empowered for some reason, and so inspired and for some reason, tonight, I feel incredibly depressed.

Living everyday on the Spectrum is quite a challenge regardless of how “high functioning” I am. Plenty of people seem shocked when they find out I have Asperger’s Syndrome but once they hang around for a little while get the idea- and slowly back off. Which is fine with me. Those who have been loyal to me have stuck by me through the years. But I want to share with the world how intense living on the Spectrum is and I figured that the best kind of awareness is through children.

I am not giving up on this dream though. I know I have the drive to succeed. I climb mountains everyday and I know so many on the Spectrum struggle so much more. Having Asperger’s Syndome has made me a stronger person but it definitely limits me and tests me at times too.

More on this tomorrow, today was not my greatest day.

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About Gretchen Leary

I am 30 years old, I live in the Boston area, and I am writing from the perspective of an individual with Asperger's Syndrome.
This entry was posted in ASD, Aspergers, Autism. Bookmark the permalink.

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