I am many things.
I am a woman, a wife, a lesbian, an author, an individual with Aspergers, and I could probably think of many more things to add to that list. (I love making lists)
Some of these things listed above might make people’s eyebrows go up but there is a reason I am being so open about some of those things. In fact, for those who have their eyebrows raised right now, I am hoping you will continue reading- because this blog post is for you.
We all know what happened this past week in Newtown so I am not going to go into detail about it. We’ve all seen the news, so there is no need. I am not even sure how to process it. It’s almost too sad to write about. So let’s take a step away from the actual event itself for a moment, as that is not what this blog post is about.
This blog post is about the fact that I felt shattered when I heard someone mention that the shooter reportedly had Aspergers Syndrome. Do you know why?
Because I have Aspergers, soon to be grouped in with the new term “Autism Spectrum Disorder” with the DSM-5, and I knew what this meant. It meant that there would be people attacking the entire Autism Community and pointing fingers and saying this is the reason for the violence.
Now I am not a doctor, I am not a therapist, nor am I a research genius. But I can say with true honesty that I know there many people on the Autism Spectrum, including myself, that want nothing more than to help others- not hurt them.
I don’t know have the answer of where to point your finger. I am in absolutely no way defending the horrific actions that person took. This post is not about him at all. Don’t worry, I’m getting to the point- just stay with me here.
I am so incredibly tired of stigmas and stereotypes that this society has placed on quite a few of the things I listed above but I feel like we as a society are so incredibly quick to judge everyone. But guess what? I am so much more than that list- I am a person. Just like you. Human. Different. Unique.
Yes, I am married to a woman. It doesn’t make me disgusting. I kept quiet for what? Yes, I have Aspergers Syndrome and it doesn’t make me violent or rude. And let me boldly add another item to that list: Yes, I’m currently HPV+ and if you do some reading, I’m one of millions and it doesn’t mean I’m dirty or promiscuous. In fact, I’m just grateful we caught the pre-cancer before it turned into invasive cancer. I truly believe it was a close call.
You might say, I am showing a lack of boundaries by sharing all of this in a public blog post. I am doing it because I feel like if I don’t set an example by being real- who will? If we all hide who we are from each other, in fear of judgement, what is the point of that? At times I’ve wished that life was more like was a 1950s sitcom, but it’s not. Thank God, how fake would that be?
Can we please stop pointing fingers so quickly? This is not to say that we don’t each have the right to have our own sense of judgement. Of course we do. You don’t have to agree with my life style, that’s your right. I have the same right to feel the same way about yours.
But this isn’t about religion. This isn’t about politics. Naturally, I agree that everyone has the right to believe what they want, even if it isn’t something I agree with. I don’t believe you and I have to be friends. We don’t and I am okay with that.
We are a broken society. We’re broken emotional and financially. We need each other. I can hear Bon Jovi’s “Livin’ On A Prayer” starting up in my head haha. We need to get excited to be a team. We are all we have right? We can do this but it has to be done together.
Let’s wrap this up and tie it with a pretty bow as it’s getting late and I need to get some sleep. I just want everyone to stop judging so quickly. Listen first.