Like a lost pearl
That jaded girl,
She tumbles
Down, an endless
Braid of faded gold
Soundlessly
Spinning, into
Old, smooth
Cold grooves-
In her over-used
Silver spoon and
Wiser-than-thou-art hand
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ha…the Wiserthanthouart hand…really cool..the braid of dull gold is cool as well..feeling sad for her..def. has a fairy tale feel to it..one of those that you hope desperately for a happy ending..
Oh, that’s gorgeous! Such a wonderful interweave of rhyme.
Thank-you! 🙂
you had me from the first lines. 🙂 what beautiful melancholy!
Hi Gretchen – I really liked the tumbling feel of the words there, like falling down a spiral or a rabbit hole!
I’m glad you picked up on that! My original first line for was going to be “That Jaded Alice” 🙂 but I changed it
Ok…to me this is an anti- fairytale. A jaded girl who ‘has everything’ (the silver spoon) and tumbling down a gold spiral (materialism?)….to me, this says money can’t buy you happiness, or life experience, or protect you. Almost like the subject is an ‘Alice in wonderland’ – a world that isn’t real, and one that will bring you back down to earth with a bump. Really like it Gretchen….you have a cool style and you write without bing too literal (basically, you don’t overdescribe) very nice indeed. You got it, that’s for sure. Hope my interpretation is somewhere along the lines you were writing about! Apologies if not
You just explained this perfectly. Amazing Stuart.
Enjoyed the pace of the words, like tumbling down to reality ~ Good to see you at OLN ~
Grace
Gretchen, you wrote quite a portrait of the ‘jaded girl.’ I like the expression ‘wiserthanthoughart hand.’ She doesn’t sound like anyone I would care to know. Smiles.
beautiful!
ha i almost googled whiserthanthouart…ha…i wa like, what language is that…smiles…and it has a bit of repunzel in it…but i think you captured the princess attitude very nicely…smiles…ha
I thought it was German at first! Really clever writing Gretchen.
Have I told you that my mother’s name is Heidi? It’s so odd when you comment because its such odd timing with my blog posts recently about my mother not showing interest or showing love and about my disability and here you are- but another Heidi. God works in mysterious ways. 🙂
I really enjoy your poems and your blog. Part of it is because I find your writing sytle approachable and thought provoking, but I also see some of the challenges that my little sweetie will have to face examined in your work. I know that I still feel very guilty that she has the difficulties that she has, even though I have been reassured that there was nothing that I could have done differently. I still have this small hope that one day she’ll wake up and everything that is hard for her will be made easy…and then I feel guilty for that hope. Reading your posts helps put things into perspective for me. I do think that I found your site for a reason. If I can give something back, then that makes me very happy. If the Heidi thing gets too weird for you, let me know. I don’t have a middle name, but I can always use my blog title, it always cracks me up to write it. Hugs! heidi (aka bigger than a lasagna)
No the name thing is perfect. Just perfect.
Ha! A little mix of Alice and Rapunzel 🙂
Love the last three verse a whole-bunch! Well done.
A beautiful melancholy, Gretchen.
I really enjoyed this 🙂 From the first word, it just spins right into place. Nicely done!
Oh, I tumbled down along every line. Gorgeous!!
A small, flawless poetic gem, beautifully executed..:)
Beautifully honest write, love it.
Excellent, Gretchen.
Hope she finds Wonderland at the end of that tumble, and not C.S. Lewis’s underworld.
Gorgeous!