When you go to a new place where they speak a different language, do you feel confident when you communicate or do you constantly hesitate before assuming you understand what is being said to you and what you plan to say back? Would you second guess the words you’ve said? Did I say that right?”
Well imagine if one day you randomly woke up in a different country you’ve never been to. There is no translation app on your phone to guide you, no one speaks the language you speak, and you honestly don’t even know what language they’re speaking.
That’s how I feel everyday. I tilt my head and make odd faces when people speak to me not because I am a mean person but because most of the time I am lost in translation. I make incorrect assumptions all the time. I can hear you speaking (Although background noise makes it hard for me to understand people). I think that there are some who think that my ASD diagnosis must be so mild because I can speak and I can be verbal and because I am married and I work. These are not easy for me. They are a challenge for me every single day without fail.
But on the brighter side, I am learning. If I ask you questions, please do not assume that I wasn’t listening before, that I have selective hearing, that I am just over thinking things, or that I am intentionally trying to provoke a fight.
I process things very differently from you. Communication wise, I will often say what I think I mean and realize I didn’t mean to say that and that goes without saying that I will often hear you say something and I’ll think I understand and two minutes or two years later realize that wasn’t what you said at all. Every conversation with someone I don’t know well is like starting over again. I try to guess what your tone means each time. I listen so incredibly carefully every time. I watch and think “I need to remember that next time”
Please be patient. That’s all I ask.