When I was young, I knew that one day I would become a leader. As time went on, my brain learned how scary it can be just to be in this world -never mind be confident enough to be a leader.

My biggest dream in life has always been to make a difference. I have learned over time, that success and making a difference does not mean I have to be a leader in the way people in society classify leaders.

I think of Jesus. Jesus was a leader of the most special kind. He was willing to get down on the floor and wash his disciples’ feet. I truly believe that humility is one of the biggest keys to being a successful leader.

I have been listening to Eric Thomas‘ speech over and over about success (To watch the video I’ve been watching click here) and it has been so motivational. I know what my dream is, the question is- how badly do I want to be successful at it?

Jesus was willing to sacrifice his life so that you and I could be forgiven and be everything God needs and calls us to be. I try not to get too religious on my blog. But the fact remains, that while music and people inspire me, but God is the reason I am still here today.

I don’t think that in order for me to be a leader in advocacy that I need to have gotten in front of a podium in front of thousands of people. Maybe that will happen one day, but true advocates are strong enough and secure enough to advocate for themselves. True advocates and true leaders are so secure in their self worth, in their dream, and in their goals that no one will stand in their way of doing what is right.

I want to see change in this world. I want to see true acceptance of others but that starts within myself. I don’t have to dig deep to find it either because God has proven time and time again that He loves me no matter what – so I have no excuse whatsoever to challenge that.

I need to stop walking around with my head down belittling myself for my social failures. God made me as I am. I was born with ASD, and I will die with it – but that can never be an excuse to give up. One of my favorite scriptures is Philippians 4:13.

So I don’t need to dig any deeper into my past or who I’ve been or where I’ve come from. I need to stay focused on my dream and where I’m going so I don’t miss an opportunity to be who I am called to be and who I need to be.

Life will never be easy – not for anyone. But it’s the perseverance through some of the hardest, teeth gritted times, that mold us into who we will be tomorrow.

I have been so focused on trying to figure out what about me I should feel confident in and who believes in me. Shouldn’t God’s faith in me be enough?

I am not a strong person and that’s not even what this about because I know that no matter what comes my way, I will get through it and unlike no human could possibly promise – He will always hold my hand.

So what if my parents haven’t been there? So what if I don’t have many friends? In the end, that won’t matter. What will matter is whether I have been the woman God has called me to be. It’s like I’ve been waiting around for someone to save me when that Savior has been beside me all along.

Why do I act so afraid? Why do I live in such a state of worry when I have the biggest ally I could ever ask for who not only accepts me for who I am but loves me just the way I am – ASD and all.

This has been such an incredible journey for me and it’s not even close to over.

Goodnight World. Stay strong.

About Gretchen McIntire (formerly Leary)

I am 34 years old, I live in the Raleigh area, and I am writing from the perspective of an individual with Asperger's Syndrome.
This entry was posted in ASD, Aspergers, Autism and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

5 Responses to Perseverance

  1. Gretchen, This post reminded me of 2 Timothy 1:7 – “For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.” What a wonderful testimony that God is your strength. Peace, Linda

  2. Debbie says:

    Thank you for sharing your story and that your strength and faith is in God! I am so proud of you! Having a daughter with PDDNOS, I have a special heart for you and am cheering you on! 🙂 God bless you bunches!

  3. Gretchen ~ I am not a believer, but I loved what you wrote about humility and gaining strength from your beliefs. This is my favorite prayer by St. Francis of Assisi which I’ve modified by removing the words “O Lord” from the beginning and “O Divine Master” from the beginning of the second paragraph.

    “…make me an instrument of your peace.
    Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
    where there is injury,pardon;
    where there is doubt, faith;
    where there is despair, hope;
    where there is darkness, light;
    and where there is sadness, joy.

    “… grant that I may not so much seek
    to be consoled as to console;
    to be understood as to understand;
    to be loved as to love.
    For it is in giving that we receive;
    it is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
    and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.”

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