There is nothing
Like this draft
by Your weak –
Gretchen Leary 2013
Gretchen, I really really liked this one! You are a good writer. I received an invite to a kind of contest going on, for unFold .. twitter length poems. It’s to celebrate their 1000th post. Would you be interested? Here’s the link . .. http://unfoldmag.wordpress.com/2013/02/25/1000tweets/
Hi Gretchen. Another really nice poem. You manage to say so much in so few words. I like the different kinds of cold running through.
Thank-you Heidi. It was a very bitter feeling that I needed off my chest and I guess it didn’t take much to get it out – although still struggling with the actual emotion a little. It’s getting better.
I how you’re feeling better! Hugs!
*hope* I need to stop using my smartphone.
Like a gush of fresh cool wind in suffocation? Understanding when we aren’t in the mood? 🙂 I like the poem a lot…
I’ve nominated you for a Liebster award 🙂 Do come by if you can…
ugh…like a hit in the face…really a whole bucket of emotion in such few lines…felt..
I really wanted to get across the point that when someone puts up walls and shut doors in our lives it’s not always a sign of strength but it sure feels cold!
biting in it’s shivery-ness !
Heh, yeah it was quite a bitter moment.
ouch…tight feeling in your short verse…very evocative…the cold should, closed door…both are painful….nicely done gretchen…
Thank-you Brian, it was hard to cram it all in there. I think I should work on the rhythm/flow a bit to make more sense of the syllable count but I’m not sure how. I finally gave up and just posted it. Any pointers would be gladly appreciated.
Another poem of yours that I’ll keep coming back to. There are echoes of William Carlos Williams in the shortness of the lines and the careful choice of line ending words – I can’t give much higher praise than that!
Thank-you Tony 🙂 That means a lot!
This delivers a message like a fist, very strong and still vulnerable. Very good. 🙂
My dear friend I have nominated you for The Versatile Blogger Award! Congratulations! Please visit this link:transcendingbordersblog.wordpress.com/2013/02/27/the-versatile-blogger-award/
I like this – cold and chilling – [ Censored for audience] – well done
Thank-you Alan! I apologize for having to censor your comment. I don’t find it offensive in the slightest – just want to be gentle with potential triggers for others as my blog tends to draw people that might struggle a little with the words. I hope this doesn’t offend you at all. I still absolutely appreciate the comment and the analogy. It’s true.
Ooh, short but powerful! I can sense your pain. Well done!
simple but true, the poem like the hostile cold, of the draft.
Oh wow, felt this, really well done.
Gretchen, a lot of emotion packed in a short perfect write.
I like the terse and sharp cold lines ~ Strong message here ~
Thank-you Grace! I was a bit of a bitter mood and needed to just get it out. 🙂
This really stings! A cold shoulder definitely hurts to the core.
Damn… this is tight verse …LOVE IT 😀
It seems you are I were writing on a similar thought – wave length this time around 🙂
this really moves me as i know the feeling well, the hurt it brings… very powerful, thanks for sharing Gretchen 🙂
Thank-you Yelena. I’m having a tough week and I had few words to offer in my blog yesterday but the words stuck I guess 🙂
sorry to hear Gretchen, really hope your days shall be brighter as soon as possible (smiles to you)
oh, i’ll say! – i felt that draft… love your poem, Gretchen
Ooh, yes, shiver…. You nailed it!
I felt it, a powder keg of a poem.
I was going to go away without commenting, but thought the better of it…
No cold draught here.
Hi there! Guess this didn’t do it for you – have any suggestions on how to improve it? It’s not really my usual writing style so I’m still learning how to write the small ones with a powerful message.
A lot packed into a few words…powerful, Gretchen….and it’s great to meet you 🙂
Hi Louise! Thank-you!
Great piece– if one were to put one’s poems into a collection– one would be wise to include this. ~peace, Jason
Thank-you Jason, I may look into doing a third collection of poetry. Thank-you for the suggestion and compliment. 🙂
This one hit me–the condensed coldness of the image. Nicely done.
It can feel exactly that way when being shunned, Gretchen. Concise and powerful.
Hi Pamela, very true, you got the message here. 🙂 I kept trying to rewrite it and just ended up leaving it as is as it seemed to speak for itself
So much in so few words. Very well done, Gretchen. 🙂
I like the sting it creates, impacted by its brevity, it is as much another layer of cold as to those in the expression. Very thoughtful and poignant write. Send peace ~ Rose
The house I live in is really drafty and when the wind blows…well, this so reminded me of that. Nicely written.
feelings do have temperature don’t they
Thank-you! They sure do! Thanks for the hug. 🙂
Always good to get feeling down on paper…important whatever the mood..it takes a bit of the pain away or leaves you refreshed ..might I say it gets you over a hump 😉
Shiver. So chillingly good.
There is such a story in this, and in so few words. Heartbreaking. Perfectly expressed.
smiles…i apprec….i much more life freestyle than form for sure…its my playground…form is my discipline for sure…smiles….i did mean mote (partical or speck)…in the urban dictionary at least….ha…thanks though, def dont mind the questions…
right between the eyes.
I do admire poets who can use epigrams and make them complete.
I love that you communicate so much in so little words! Thank you for sharing!
Wow! Thank-you! 🙂
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