Life can be so confusing at times. Especially for people like me that overanalyze even the most simplest of things.
I am trying really hard to stay focused. Focused on what matters, focused on priorities, and less focused on the little things that can so easily agitate the senses and aggravate my heart.
Today is today – it’s not yesterday or tomorrow and it can be so easy to get stuck in a thought pattern of memories or of dreams when opportunities are right in front of me.
I’ve written a lot about letting go and how it has become so easy for me to see my faults (at the cost of some self confidence) and even easier to point a finger at myself.
But that’s not what letting to go is about and I get so stuck in perseveration about the root of the issue because it’s easier than to just accept life for what it is – to accept me for who I can and cannot be – and just live.
I remember the morning I woke up from a dream with a random thought that stuck in my head –
“It is what it is and it is what it isn’t”
I think, that while it sounds odd, it really does simplify how complex my mind is for those who don’t understand.
I’ve been making an effort to smile, to sit up straighter, to believe in myself a little more. But what is this tinge of sadness that won’t fade away? This loneliness? It’s me. I isolate myself from people in order to process a lot and in the process of processing those things lose out on chances to just enjoy the moment.
So that’s my goal for tomorrow. To enjoy each moment for what it is – and accept it for what it isn’t.
For tonight? My goal is to fall asleep. 🙂