For dVersePoets: Poetics
Envy tastes like
Bitter paste
Spite gRiNdiNg
Behind tight
Clenched –
White teeth &
Green eyes
Take – your – finger – tip
From – my – lower – lip
For when you lie,
I bite.
Gretchen Leary 2013
This is for DversePoets where we are writing about all things green. I couldn’t think of anything other than nausea and envy and although neither of those are signs of good health, jealousy was less graphic to write about.
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And rightly so.
ha…envy has a bitter taste for sure…and lies are even worse.. so a well placed bite may be not such a bad move..ha.. tightly put gretchen
This poem depicts envy spot on! Great job Gretchen 🙂
Ironically, I wrote a poem similar to this topic would you like to take a look?
http://oursunshines.wordpress.com/2013/03/15/aching-heart/
Thanks!
Brilliant depiction of envy and I love the power of the threat at the end. Penny
when you lie, i bite….whew! nice intensity in this gretchen…yikes…jealousy and envy can def be dangerous roots to let grip your heart…and make you do things you never thought you would…nice lowercaseCAPS work as well…ha….gets a bit of the craziness in it…
Haha yep! Well envy is a crazy emotion I think. Kind of ridiculous very intense and very very nasty green
Oh this one is intense. Capitalizing some of the letters in the word grinding–created a grinding feeling that carried through the whole poem. Really good.
Ouch!
Yikes on the bite and lies ~ I like the taste of bitter paste ~
Ooh, very intense and vivid and personal. Short lines work especially well. Thanks, Gretchen. k.
owwwie!! this is fantastic!!
Being green with envy can cause such pain. Tight write with a bite!
I enjoyed this, Gretchen.
Yup, envy is green.
I try not to indulge in envy…figure some are better off than I am, and I am better off than some. It is all along the continuum, I think. I just try to make the most of my own life.
I have the bitterness on my tongue. So many great lines and the bite… ouch. Amazing work!
Thank-you. I felt like I was grinding my teeth while trying to bring out the feeling which is where that line came from 🙂
Great warning !
Gretchen – few words but what intensity! really outstanding K
One certainly does need to write an opus to convey a poetic message; nice job with this verdant dusky jewel, Gretchen. Your tone matches Karin’s tonight. I stuck dab on into Ireland for my effort. Odd that one country has sent us so many immigrants who became cops, priests, and politicians that we celebrate their saint; another excuse to party green I suppose.
…i’m pretty sure i left a comment earlier here but it wasn’t here, it looked… anyhow, just so you know i like this a lot and your last 2 lines are strong enough to hit a chord… quite a reality that’s irrevocable i guess… great one.. smiles..
I had to repost it and it erased all the comments that were there 😦
We’ve all felt this strong emotion…some have taken it too far..I find this playful and yet biting;)
This is an excellent poem, precise!
Well done on the prompt for dVerse, Gretchen.
Oh, I love this. It’s a swift, clean knife wound. Such a perfect moment in time.
very well put! when you lie…I bite….loved tat line!