For dVersePoets. I am not sure if I did this prompt correctly but this was supposed to be read from the eyes of an object.
With a
little lit wick
My brave flame
warms her face
Brushing shadows
away as it dances
It glows from
dark old eyes
To the fold
between two
torn pages
Until her
heavy sigh
travels & a
worn journal
Slams – CLOSED
Sending me up in smoke
Gretchen Leary 2013
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i was wondering what she was reading in that journal that she sighs so heavily…really well painted scene and i like how you give that lantern personality…as if it knows the woman’s story as well…
I think she couldn’t find her words tonight and this is why she isn’t sleeping right now…at 2am haha.
Thank-you Claudia!
Maybe the blank pages were too little and too much. Was hoping for the dramatic close to this. Smoke and sudden darkness seemed like the best route to go with this. Maybe she found sudden clarity in silence. Thank-you Andrea!
This is such a cleverly evocative response to the prompt. Very atmospheric. Penny
Thank-you Penny! 🙂
I can smell the smoke from the extinguished flame, and it does make me curious about the journal..
smiles….we used to use lanterns when we camped….big howling ones,
the thought of this one made me think more of a candle or taper
and then the suddenness of the darkness when the flame
is snuffed there in the end…and what causes her to slam the book
then saw you were still up at 2 AM…smiles….get some rest….
On my way to NYC today. Broadway tonight (hopefully). Didn’t get much rest but that is normal for me these days
Doesn’t matter what the subjec or the prompt: you always present someting delicious an re-readable. This secondhand description of the woman is just wonderful.
Thank-you! That is a big compliment 🙂
I like what you did with the prompt. I seemed a little difficult to me, maybe I just couldn’t get my head around it, or become it….
I struggled a lot with it. The poem came suddenly after waiting for the object and words to come. I waited until about 1am and suddenly there they were. I was determined
The image of this is quite clear, as the woman writes in her journal; the little flame of both inspiration & light is snuffed out when the written thought was concluded. Nice job.
I have a picture of a candle rather than a lantern, but that doesn’t detract in any way from another delightful poem.
You’re not the first to say that so I’ve changed the title so it can be left up to the reader. The lantern I was thinking of was the one we have at my house that we actually use a candle in. Best of both worlds? 🙂
Good perspective from the lantern ~ I specially like the opening lines:
With a
little lit wick
My brave flame
warms her face
Have a wonderful weekend ~
Grace
this is really wonderful. your ending caught me completely off guard. I love when that happens. “from/ dark old eyes/ to the fold/ between” There is a here-and-now quality to it that also calls upon a bigger picture. I am thoroughly delighted by this, Gretchen.
Another great one, Gretchen..adore the image.
I truly understand the slamming closed a journal line! ~Jason