Up In Smoke – A Poem

For dVersePoets. I am not sure if I did this prompt correctly but this was supposed to be read from the eyes of an object.

With a
little lit wick
My brave flame
warms her face
Brushing shadows
away as it dances
It glows from
dark old eyes
To the fold
between two
torn pages
Until her
heavy sigh
travels & a
worn journal
Slams – CLOSED
Sending me up in smoke

Gretchen Leary 2013

About Gretchen McIntire (formerly Leary)

I am 34 years old, I live in the Raleigh area, and I am writing from the perspective of an individual with Asperger's Syndrome.
This entry was posted in dVersePoets Prompt, Poetry and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

19 Responses to Up In Smoke – A Poem

  1. claudia says:

    i was wondering what she was reading in that journal that she sighs so heavily…really well painted scene and i like how you give that lantern personality…as if it knows the woman’s story as well…

  2. Maybe the blank pages were too little and too much. Was hoping for the dramatic close to this. Smoke and sudden darkness seemed like the best route to go with this. Maybe she found sudden clarity in silence. Thank-you Andrea!

  3. Penny says:

    This is such a cleverly evocative response to the prompt. Very atmospheric. Penny

  4. Rowan Taw says:

    I can smell the smoke from the extinguished flame, and it does make me curious about the journal..

  5. brian miller says:

    smiles….we used to use lanterns when we camped….big howling ones,
    the thought of this one made me think more of a candle or taper
    and then the suddenness of the darkness when the flame
    is snuffed there in the end…and what causes her to slam the book
    then saw you were still up at 2 AM…smiles….get some rest….

  6. aprille says:

    Doesn’t matter what the subjec or the prompt: you always present someting delicious an re-readable. This secondhand description of the woman is just wonderful.

  7. anl4 says:

    I like what you did with the prompt. I seemed a little difficult to me, maybe I just couldn’t get my head around it, or become it….

  8. Glenn Buttkus says:

    The image of this is quite clear, as the woman writes in her journal; the little flame of both inspiration & light is snuffed out when the written thought was concluded. Nice job.

  9. Tony Maude says:

    I have a picture of a candle rather than a lantern, but that doesn’t detract in any way from another delightful poem.

    • You’re not the first to say that so I’ve changed the title so it can be left up to the reader. The lantern I was thinking of was the one we have at my house that we actually use a candle in. Best of both worlds? 🙂

  10. Good perspective from the lantern ~ I specially like the opening lines:
    With a
    little lit wick
    My brave flame
    warms her face

    Have a wonderful weekend ~

  11. janehewey says:

    this is really wonderful. your ending caught me completely off guard. I love when that happens. “from/ dark old eyes/ to the fold/ between” There is a here-and-now quality to it that also calls upon a bigger picture. I am thoroughly delighted by this, Gretchen.

  12. kkkkaty1 says:

    Another great one, Gretchen..adore the image.

  13. I truly understand the slamming closed a journal line! ~Jason

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