Expectations

We all have expectations of ourselves. Some are usually far fetched and then plenty are attainable if the right amount of positive effort is put in.

Here is what I know:

1) Having Asperger Syndrome (Autism Spectrum Disorder – ASD) is definitely a challenge and there are some things I probably can’t do much about, but there are lots of very successful people with this disorder, so I know there are areas I can definitely grow

2) Judging myself doesn’t do anything but tear myself down. Challenging myself to try harder will build my self esteem, but I need to be firm but gentle with myself if I want to grow and not make myself want to give up

So here are my goals for 2014:

1) Make an effort to reach out to new people and make an effort to really learn how others I see socialize and learn how to mimic it better in my own social situations.

2) Stop focusing on letting go so much. If I stay focused on letting go, I’m not actually letting go. In fact, by hyper focusing on letting go, it seems to make me hold on longer. This one may turn out to be the biggest challenge but I have already gotten a head start on this one and I hope it will only get better.

3) Finish my second children’s book.

4) Start dressing the way I want to feel and loose 20lbs.

My final goal is to quit smoking but it seems whenever I push myself to quit, the habit gets worse. Out of sight out of mind so I’m hoping to put myself in situations that people wouldn’t smoke in and then maybe I will naturally cut down instead of telling myself over and over “You to quit”. That seems to be counterproductive and yet there have been times where I was with non smokers and almost forgot that I smoke at all. No promises on this one, but I will definitely make progress. It seems to be a security blanket that I have not found a pacifier for – until recently…when I started singing again. It’s a huge push not to want to smoke when I know how much better my voice will sound when it’s gone.

So, there. It’s now in writing. Here I go.

Oh and if you happen to see my muse at anytime, remind them to head on home. I miss my poetry!

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About Gretchen Leary

I am 31 years old, I live in the Boston area, and I am writing from the perspective of an individual with Asperger's Syndrome.
This entry was posted in ASD, Aspergers, Autism and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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