Steel springs roll
with grating teeth
and blinking eyes
The alarm clock sings
like cymbals in
the harsh melody of
an unforgiving city
Smearing grit and
sweat from my face
wanting to just forget
on the Snooze
for even the briefest
Burying my face
counting the hours
that I must stay awake
wishing this was all
just a horrible dream
As I shift my body
on this teetering
Each move unsteady
Each move // I ache
of my mistaken ignorance
Blinded by misguided
& falsified intentions
in a place I dreamed
would feel like home //
and not a life sentence.
liking the rhythm of this a lot. I am as as removed from LA as one Englishman can get but I can smell the misplaced hope…great stuff. Dave
ouch…nice last line, really bringing home the feeling…
hey some lessons are hard…and if it leads you to gratitude…all the better
so great to hear from you…how are you?
Hi Brian! Thank-you. I think that experience damaged my lower back for good but it taught me a lot. I have been better but I will make it through. How are you? I loved that story you wrote.
oh heck…tight emotions in this gretchen… the close made me swallow…it’s tough when home doesn’t feel how it should.. it is painful and i can tell from my own experience…
That experience in L.A. was very humbling to say the least but I guess when you’re eighteen and think you know everything it’s easy to just blame the world. It isn’t until years later that I realized that it was my own fault for moving some place I had never seen, without a mattress, a job, and no AC.
ugh yes…some lessons we have to learn the hard way… no fun…
Gretchen, I was so happy to see you on my blog…it’s been a while. This poem is so evocative and emotionally draws the reader in to the experience of the “narrator.”I sense that this is a feeling that many, if not most of us who write poetry can relate to from time to time. It is a courageous invitation to understand and to crawl into the depths of another’s pain. Thank you for this.
Thank-you Victoria. It is a place I hope to never be again but it’s good for poetry 🙂
everything is happening in the vast expanse of time and at the end of the day may be we would be able to fit all those pieces of the jigsaw puzzle that life is and realize all experiences add to our learning and richness…
Your words moved me ~ I hope you are in a better place and state today Gretchen ~ As someone who has a day job, I hate the sound of the alarm every morning though my hubby makes it a lovely melody, ha ~
Perhaps it is good to learn such things when one is young & can more easily rebound. A poignant write; and I am sure many youth can identify with the experience of not finding what one expected.
Oh, dear, that sounds rather unhappy… I hope it’s not your current experience…
Where have you been, Gretchen, I’ve missed you and your poetry for the last few weeks/months on dVerse?
Oh! There is so much I love about this, especially “cymbals in the harsh melody of an unforgiving city” and the “teetering emotional balance beam”! This is wonderful!
Thank-you so much Jenny!!
“the harsh melody of
an unforgiving city”
… great poem, and I especially like this line. Sometimes you have to go through a lot of sadness but once you’re through you’re even happier. At least that’s my experience (hope it works for you as well).
Thank-you Paula. Yes adversity generally leads to something amazing 🙂
An emotional write, hard hitting.
Thank-you Kathryn. It was hard to live it…I really wanted that deep gritty pain to shine through here…
There was a lot of discomfort described here and I took it to mean both physically and emotionally…so sorry for that…hope things are better.
Powerfully written–hitting the snooze to escape facing things for a few more minutes is something many of us can relate to. Nicely done!
I love how your words take me through a journey into your mind Gretchen. Excellent poem.
Thank-you so much. It’s amazing how vivid a memory can be…
Love your title, Gretchen and it’s good to hear you again. How hard it is when we feel out of place, wanting to belong…whatever the circumstances.
Hello Kathy! Yes so so true
yikes! especially that last line. I can understand the preference to dream as opposed to waking to a nightmare…
a home and not a life sentence…a stellar close to some profound thoughts! good to see you
‘In a place I dreamed would feel like home’… terrific last line.. very emotional write.. love the rhythm in this…