Lights Out – A Poem

Just processing a very old memory tonight. Written while listening to “Angel” by Sarah McLachlan which was the song I was humming that night.

Fluorescent lights
blink out
& I can hear
the thunder now

As I slowly
slide
back
down
against
the wall

In this corner
time & place…
I feel so crumpled
So..
small

& yet it rains
& I ache for daybreak
just like yesterday

My arms are now
violently trembling
wrapped tightly
around my knees
I begin slowly rocking

As I close my
tired swollen eyes
& lean my hot face
against an
artificial breeze

towards my shadow
that sits beside me
below the window

another drag
of bitter nicotine
& clouds swirl & dance
like the summer storm
that surrounds me

As I try
not to cry-
As I try
to just breathe //

& yet it rains
& I ache for daybreak
just like yesterday

Letting it all go
Releasing this
bittersweet sorrow
As I dream of peace.

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About Gretchen Leary

I am 30 years old, I live in the Boston area, and I am writing from the perspective of an individual with Asperger's Syndrome.
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28 Responses to Lights Out – A Poem

  1. ds says:

    I think all of us have some knowledge of this feeling. You capture it very well. Thank you.

  2. brian miller says:

    oy, whole lot of feeling in this scene…leaning into your shadow was the part that caught me…nice weaving in of the lyrics as well…

  3. billgncs says:

    nice, I felt the energy and the tension

  4. claudia says:

    oh heck… loads of emotions in this gretchen… the sitting next to the own shadow… good to be able to let go finally…

  5. What darkness life can have, and how powerful the music can be. So well you weaved the lyrics into the text.. And so great to see you back again

  6. to still dream of peace amongst intensity and chaos… is like music to the soul; beautiful melodies cannot be destroyed…

  7. MarinaSofia says:

    Music gives us a way of expressing our emotions when words fail us, when we are not even sure we want to express them. Beautifully and very intensely described.

  8. tigerbrite says:

    Full of emotion this. Music (and smells) all remind us of times both happy and heart rendering sad.

  9. Grace says:

    I like the refrain of the rain in between ~ I think in moments of solitude and sadness, music can reach us in the smallest corner of our space ~ Have a good week Gretchen ~

  10. Polly says:

    You seem to echo the rain, the pain–a wonderful poem, Gretchen.

  11. bleibalien says:

    A groovy piece about a sad head space, but very evocative. Love- “& lean my hot face / against an / artificial breeze” and “another drag / of bitter nicotine”

  12. Kathy Reed says:

    Exposing those dark times by writing about them sheds some light but we never are sure they will not return …it takes a lot of courage to weather the storms…I think peace comes when we realize we are ok, no matter what, and the emotions will ebb and wane, but we remain intact hopefully.

  13. Wow Gretchen you have captured this feeling so vividly, I hope the music has improved your memories in some way.

  14. You can tell that you poured your soul into this one….very moving for the reader.

  15. Gretchen, your poetry always holds such vivid emotion – loved the refrain and the rain.

  16. Pingback: Dualing Banjo’s of dVerse Poet’s Pub | KATiE MiA FredericK!iI

  17. yelena says:

    beautifully woven, Grethchen..so much enjoyed~

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