Sixty Eight Days #Autism

"You can't be brave if you've only had wonderful things happen to you." – Mary Tyler Moore

So much has happened in my thirty one years. So many sad things. There were many times when I felt so broken that I didn't know if I could fix myself. I had no idea how wrong that way of thinking was.

The past year has been full of change. Change is very overwhelming for me more often than not. Change can leave me so anxious, that my body tenses up so much that I'm in pain all over and I spike a fever if it's bad enough. But, the truth is, that change is often what I need.

Despite my struggles with Dysautonomia and Autism Spectrum Disorder, I feel like I have met the world head on in the past year. I have made brave choices. Some turned out to be mistakes that humbled me quite a bit. But humility never hurt anyone.

I am not usually the busy bee but this year that seems to be the case. I recently flew down to meet my friend who needed a driving buddy on her road trip back from South Carolina and I was more than happy to spend some time with my feet in the sand. The last minute plan took me by surprise but I chose to do it anyways and I am so thankful that I did. We watched the sun rise over Myrtle Beach (see photo below) and it was just absolutely amazing. On the ride back we were able to make some detours on our way back to Boston so that I could meet two friends I had only known online for years. I am forever thankful for that road trip and the memories.

Tomorrow I will be heading to Georgia (and sticking with air conditioning) for some new different memories with old friends for a few days and the countdown has already begun for my wedding day even though quite a few more things will happen before that. A conference on Star Island comes in early September and I am so excited. I also got to visit Plum Island for the first time ever not too long ago. It's a new favorite. The ocean is ever changing but ever constant somehow too and therefore grounds me.

But…Sixty eight days. Sixty eight days until I hold hands with my future husband and make vows before God and those who have lead me to this day in one piece. This feels like a sacred waiting time as I prepare my heart for what this marriage will be and that it will be firmly on our faith in God.

I look back over the past year and how I was able to quit smoking cigarettes (2/21/16) and lost almost fifty pounds as well since October of last year and I see the changes not just in the mirror but in my reflection time with God as well.

It's past bed time. I will update again once I am back in Boston. So many changes and for once that makes me smile. Until next time.


About Gretchen Leary

I am 30 years old, I live in the Boston area, and I am writing from the perspective of an individual with Asperger's Syndrome.
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